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The Lawyer of Oz

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"This should knock up the viewing figures!"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'I NEED to KNOW what funky name the media will christen the new decade, to follow the noughties.'

The Space Potatoes talk about....Madonna.

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

'Illiterati' Isn't Jeffrey Archer Brilliant...

''Star Trek,' or 'The Waltons' I could understand... but a 'Geraldo' marathon?'

"No, no, no...it's not a trick question. I just think that your celebrity crush says a lot about what you want in another person?"

"Baldo, negative stereotypes that insult people serve no purpose! What people really want is thoughtful, family-oriented material."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Skeptic Tank.

"The Eggsorcist"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The americanisation of vulture.

Time Machine Collision

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Kritik's Korner

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

Giant Monster in Bath

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Armageddon

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'