Pool Pundit Pillows

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Eldrow

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

'My first drink since my accident.'

'You drink like a fish.'

Mudville

"I swear, Eddie, you ought to be on with Bill Moyers."

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'Happy hour was over an hour ago. Wipe that stupid grin off your face!'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

"Oh no! It's foot 'n' mouth season again."

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

Ah heck, don't complain now! This is just the 'Warm-up'!

'Whoever's guess is closest to the time when the last needle falls off the tree wins the hundred-dollar pool!'

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

"He sold his fresh water before it melted."

'Put the kettle on darling.'

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

Pound sign about to be crushed by a 1 Ton Trade weight

Crucified for off-air comments.

Stand for the Anthem?

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

Arsene Wenger dusting off incoming transfers book.

'That's a no-brainer, Tom.'

'Sir, I would recommend the putter for your tee-shot.'

'Muriel told me that men are all alike - That's kind of reassuring, actually.'