Pooch Preacher Gifts

My other dog is a Great Dane.

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Litterary Dogs.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"I've got the bowl, the bone, the big yard. I know I should be happy."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

Good Dog!

Pets on holiday.

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

Tough Guy

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

"I can't find his dog whistle anywhere."

Dogma

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

"My mistress doesn't care if I drink out of the toilet as long as I put the toilet seat up."

When groomers go bad.

'What? You want something? It has something to do with your food dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk!'

'I must leave my mark on the world.' 'I must leave my mark on the next lamp post.'

'Just think - if he was a greyhound you could have been blotto ten minutes ago!'

"Why don't you stick your head out the window like other dogs?"

"I'm not falling for that - every time I'm mad at you, you suddenly 'hurt your paw'."

'Let's do a deal - I won't drag you past any more lamp-posts...'

'It's nothing personal...It's just business.'