Pooch Pastor Gifts

Good Dog!

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"I've got the bowl, the bone, the big yard. I know I should be happy."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

Pets on holiday.

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

Tough Guy

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'Ever noticed how people resemble their pets?'

Car Dog-Doors.

"I don't feel like going on a walk today, so I got me an Uber to take me around the block. You need the exercise, so you can walk beside the car."

My other dog is a Great Dane.

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

When groomers go bad.

'What? You want something? It has something to do with your food dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk!'

'I must leave my mark on the world.' 'I must leave my mark on the next lamp post.'

"Why don't you stick your head out the window like other dogs?"

"I'm not falling for that - every time I'm mad at you, you suddenly 'hurt your paw'."

'Let's do a deal - I won't drag you past any more lamp-posts...'