Ponytailed Ponderers Gifts

"Wait, I've changed my mind."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Mankind

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

The Origin of Species

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

This could be interesting...

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'I bark, therefore I am.'