Ponderer Of The Divine Pillows

"Son, God is invisible...That's how we know we are made in His Image."

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Jesus wept

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'What did He do before he was God?'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

A self-filling prophecy.

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

Various Birds of Pray.

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Nostradamus enjoyed singing in the tub'

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'