Pomp And Circumstance Fan Prints

Offended Dignity

"Oh come on! It's not the first time I've done that procedure!"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

The Perils of Dog Kisses

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

Freak Accident Specialist

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

A cheerleader doing a high kick

Moby Dick: Pop-Up Version

"You'll have to excuse your father. He's a victim of a deepfake campaign."

Pumpkin blowing out birthday candles: 'Make a wish.'

Naval Command 'Innie' and 'Outie'.

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

'One shot of this and you won't know a thing. Too late. He doesn't know a thing now.'

"The secret to being a cat is to imagine that Hail to the Chief is playing wherever you go."

Snowmen

Finger Food.

Yeah, I know. My dating profile says I'm a "ginger," so you were expecting a redhead.

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

"What's up? Never heard of e-snail before?"

'At least he died with a smile on his face.'

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.