Polling Station Worker Gifts

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

Car Breast-Feeding

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

EU Polling Station

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Self Service Island

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'Fill up your tank, sir?'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Lady votes using her facemask.

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

'And according to a new poll, baseball and apple pie have now been replaced by facebook and taco bell.'

'What luck!'

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'Our next question: is the world a safer place than it was a year ago?'

'I'd give it five minutes if I were you'

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'

Vote for One

'And where have you been?'

Election Intelligence.

Nevada Poll Worker: I saw rampant voter fraud.

"No, only the wrong votes aren't counted.

"I tried counting mail-in ballots but it took too long."

"This job really takes a toll on you."

"Look, I watched bush for his first hundred days and now I'm trying to take a nap, O.K."

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

Hamlet on interactive TV.

'I'm not too happy with my ballot. Can I get a refund?'

"Oh great, more ballots to count."