Politically Incorrect Joker Pillows

Texas - Home of Organic Free-Range Gas!

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Adult Absence Notes.

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'This milk smells funny.'

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'I've never felt so alive...'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'What's up, I've simply sacrificed my sacrifices for lent.'

'Can't we have a valentine party without girls?'

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

"I'm afraid you've got Sea Monkey pox."

'I've got a strawberry birth mark.'

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'Oh, that...sure I'd like to take a fling at that and then quit'

Free Hugs

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."