Politically Incorrect Joker Pillows

Texas - Home of Organic Free-Range Gas!

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'This milk smells funny.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'I've never felt so alive...'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

'Can't we have a valentine party without girls?'

'What's up, I've simply sacrificed my sacrifices for lent.'

"I'm afraid you've got Sea Monkey pox."

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'I've got a strawberry birth mark.'

'Oh, that...sure I'd like to take a fling at that and then quit'

Free Hugs

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."

'The house is as you left it, Luv - I'm lodging at the Red Lion.'