Politically Incorrect Humor Lovers Gifts

Rerunning the cartoon offended even more readers. Rats, he thought, now I'll be considered a repeat offender.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

The Berlin Peace Movement

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

All-Verbal Westerns

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

The Dangers of Corporate Personhood

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Recipes for comfort drinks.

"So we have met before..."

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"Six fact checkers spontaneously combusting in one election cycle? Yeah, I am starting to see a pattern, Higgins."

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

War of Words

'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!