Politically Incorrect Humor Lover Pillows

"I don't own a wood stove. I burn oil."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Larry's used art

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Beach con-man.

"States of tofu"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Trump pardons

Fly Football

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'