Political Romantic Pillows

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

Love at First Sign

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

After the Sentence

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

"Humans have very little to offer, political theatre excepted."

"Lady Liberty, I choose you...ooo...ooo...oooh!"

'Doctor Corazon, I'm in love with you. You make my right ventricle go pitter-patter.'

Heart-shaped guitar

"Don't you think even if there'd been no John Cardner and no Comon Cause, we'd have found each other anyway?"

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

I Drew a Hot Guy

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

Surgeon gives nurse heart, saying, Will you be my valentine?

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

An idiot's guide to the American Constitution.

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."