Political Loss Pillows

"Doctor, I feel like everyone is abandoning me."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Danger Slow Sand.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Between Offices

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

'It's historic that the inauguration of a minority is now routine.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

St. Elmo's fired.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Fries and kids