Political Dodger Gifts

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

"The answer is NO!"

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"He's agreed to take the cruise, but no damn bunnyhopping!"

"They're everywhere, I don't know what to believe anymore. What is truth, what are facts, what's happening?" "Stop watching the news and if you see a pollster or election candidate...run!"

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"There! That looks better."

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."

Cone of Silence

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

Traffic Court. To be fair, he did pay his ticket.

A Man Hides From His Dance Partner At A Ball.

"Baldo, remember our rules! No talking on cell phones during work hours!"

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"I've been called for jury duty. How can I get out of it?"

'Is it bad etiquette to bring my universal remote to this party you're dragging me to?'

"I miss avoiding people."

Kate didn't listen to idle gossip. . . she got her dirty laundry fix at the coin-op.

"Joey, you're supposed to wash your hands before returning to work."

'It's no wonder they caught me. I got sloppy.'

Countless people talk behind my back --- I go to lots of movies.