Political Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

"The Anthony Weiner story."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

The Dangers of Corporate Personhood

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"All other letters have been disallowed."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

"So we have met before..."

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'

"Six fact checkers spontaneously combusting in one election cycle? Yeah, I am starting to see a pattern, Higgins."

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

War of Words

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!