Politeness Tactician Gifts

5 morning's worth of cliche greetings eliminated in 6 seconds flat.

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Genius

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

The merger hits a snag.

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Politeness opens doors

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Arsene Wenger

CEO.

'No... you first.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Careful. You still have that new-employee smell.'

"No offense."

"Our marriage counselor would be so proud of us now."

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

"Plea bargaining with my mom is more like please bargaining."