Politeness Police Gifts

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Gesundheit, , , what's wrong need a kleenex or something'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

TMI

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

Computer neck.

The merger hits a snag.

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Say, please.'

Politeness opens doors

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'No... you first.'

Canadian Zoom

9:15. Sorry I'm late -- I had to floss.

"No offense."

'No. I insist. You first.'

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"I'm aware you called to say you'd be late, but that was nine months ago!"

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

Won't it be fun to vacation with your grandmother? I guess. But I'd rather go with you and daddy. Oh, honey! That's so sweet! We'll miss you tooo � Groan! We'll have to be polite 24/7! Does my smile look sincere?

"You're very courteous for a hog"

Small Talk Outlet

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."