Polish Cuisine Aficionado T-Shirts

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Domestic Goddess.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Party time.

'It's my favorite.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Feast