Police Training T-Shirts

Remedial SWAT team training.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"A little help, please."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Agility God

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Don't even think about it."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

Pet Entertainers

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."