Law Enforcement Trainee T-Shirts

'How many times must I tell you this Jacobsen? 'Round up the usual suspects!'.'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

The modern sheriff.

Excessive Paperwork

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

Fingerprint Show

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"No, that looks nothing like him. Were you even listening to me? Young man, are you on drugs?"

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

Police T.V. Appeal, "It's the new softy softy approach!"

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

Introductory Police Training

'Virtual patient.'

Messing Up My Metrics

The Professionals.

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

The Future of Detective Work

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'