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"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"He did it!"

The Investigation

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

Moon Line UP

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"There's something very wrong with this picture, detective."

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

Duck painting picture of man painting picture of a duck.

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'

'The usual.'

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

"The suspect is roughly 55 feet tall and quite possibly green."

The Executioner's Identity Lineup

Dog Points Out Dog-Catcher in lineup.

'You have the right to remain silent.'

"Take me to Joanna Lumley."

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

"Look, I did bring you in here for questioning. I want to know if you like my new tie."

'That's not good enough!'

'No I'm sorry madam, this is the celebrity murder squad'.

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'