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I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

Roman soldier in police line up.

Flasher's Police Line-up

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"He did it!"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

The Investigation

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Moon Line UP

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

Life in the Fast Lane.

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

"When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking"

"If you can prove my innocence to the court, I'll give you half of my cut, from the bank job."

'Do you see your assailant anywhere in this photo array?'

the bureaucrat's desk

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

Solicitors looking for charitable contributions. One solicitor has a gun.

'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

The Automatic Policeman