Police Appreciation Day Gifts

Policeman shouting - 'Don't stop that thief! It'll be too much paperwork.'

'I slammed into a patrol car and woke up two cops.'

Policemen

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Bad dog."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Took On Too Much