Police Appreciation Day Gifts

Policeman shouting - 'Don't stop that thief! It'll be too much paperwork.'

'I slammed into a patrol car and woke up two cops.'

Policemen

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Bad dog."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

Took On Too Much