Police Academy Hopeful T-Shirts

'Have you a jemmy handy, sarge? I was only trying to protect his head while putting him into the car!'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Family traits.

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

US Camouflage School

Introductory Police Training

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

'Call for back-up.'

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

'I'd like to be all I can be!' - Recruitment Centre

Award ceremony for balloons

'And what makes you think you're good enough for the darts team?'

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

Yes, inspector, it's another cold-blooded murder!

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

Secret travel agent. Man in black says: 'I could tell you about budget city breaks, but then I'd have to kill you.'

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"Yeah - but maybe it's NOT a mirage..."

'Sometimes a police office has no choice but to use deadly force. Say for instance someone grabbed for your donut.'

'What would happen if we hired two private detectives to follow each other?'

Acting lessons.

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

'Here you are, Healy. Along with your badge you get a list of the area's donut shops.'

"...and the shepherd boy never got into any of the really good schools."

"The name's Bond. . .Yeah right, but not James Bond."

"...I'll have none of that secret agent hijinks in the pension queue, okay?"