Polar Pun Lovers Pillows

'Don't tell anybody, but it's 100% styrofoam!'

'Global warming? I smell fish sticks!!'

"Talk nerdy to me."

baby sweetcorn...

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Puss in cement boots"

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Love is Blind.

Tequila Mockingbird

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"My guess it's guacamole."

Plum jam...

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Yeah, that's right. I'm the sandman. Where did you think I was getting my sand all these years?"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'