Poison Tester Gifts

"I'm the king's food taster. He likes comfort foods."

Exam

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Pet Entertainers

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Good Luck with your finals.

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Product Testing Department

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.