Poetically Inclined Historians Gifts

The Bardman of Alcatraz.

They're Not Just That Into It

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

Sundial Time

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

Inside One's Memory Bank

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

The Evolution Of Man.

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

The Great Leap Forward

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Plagiarist!"

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

What a gentleman imagines while he holds a door open.

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Romans.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

Look, Oog and Whonk just invented the intersection.

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Eye Off the Ball

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"