Poe Aficionado T-Shirts

"Let me guess – you stayed late at your buddy's place helping him with a, quoth, poem."

The Tell-All Heart

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"It's really none of my business, Montresor, but are you sure you're going about this in the right way?"

"Evermore?"

Quoth the Ravens

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

"This is the last time I stay at the Bed & Breakfast of a Poe enthusiast."

"You're going to hate yourself."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

The Selfie

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack's Poetic Justice

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Friedrich Schiller

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Hoxton map.

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

"You're right. They do taste funny."

Little ship of horrors

"Thanks, but I'm in the midst of a lesbian phase that started the day I was born."

Bernard Levin