Plus-size Advocate Pillows

'Big Guy Shirt Shop for men with over 18 necks.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Aging Problems

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Congratulations!

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Fat fairy

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"That was some climax, Hon."

Scales

Girl's weight issues.

....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Irregulars

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'