Sex-positivity Advocate Pillows

'Mam, tell me one of your old sex stories?'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Critisize your weight.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

Aging Problems

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"That was some climax, Hon."

Scales

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Girl's weight issues.

Fat fairy

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Irregulars

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

"You call that complementary!?!"