Positive Identity Advocate Pillows

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"He's gone goth"

Critisize your weight.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Girl's weight issues.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Congratulations!

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Scales

Fat fairy

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"That was some climax, Hon."