Positive Identity Advocate Pillows

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

"He's gone goth"

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Aging Problems

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Fat fairy

Scales

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Girl's weight issues.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."