Plumber Gifts

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'You could go home tomorrow, but it will take the plumber three days to disconnect you.'

Plumber plugging a hole and trying to reach a valve.

"These older homes are tricky. You never know what kind of pipes you'll find."

Translating Contractor to English

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

"I can't find that much hair in a drain and not see stress issues."

'Bloody immigrants! You come over here and fix our leaking sink...'

'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'

'All clear!'

'Tell me...what IS in the pipeline?'

'Rick, I think something is wrong with the septic system. The toilet is flushing kind of slowly.'

'I don't know much about economics. To me, a liquidity problem is when a pipe breaks in the men's lavatory.'

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

Chair with a leaking pipe.

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'John? You know that simple little plumbing repair job you've kept meaning to tackle. . .'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

'Your drain pipe was having a bad hair day.'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

'The good news is, you haven't lost water pressure.'

'You're a disgrace, Billy, you really are.'

Lazy plumber.

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

Immigration Integration Evening - 'We're hoping to meet some east European builders.'