Plumbing Gifts

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'You could go home tomorrow, but it will take the plumber three days to disconnect you.'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'

'Tell me...what IS in the pipeline?'

'I don't know much about economics. To me, a liquidity problem is when a pipe breaks in the men's lavatory.'

'All clear!'

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Chair with a leaking pipe.

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

Lazy plumber.

'The good news is, you haven't lost water pressure.'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'You can deny it till you're blue in the face butyou're definitely incontinent!'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

'I told you I didn't want indoor plumbing, but no! You just had to keep up with the Jones. Call the plumber. The pipes are frozen again.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

A contractor preparing an bid estimate is surrounded by stacks of cost books, but is flipping a coin to make his decisions.

'Does this mean you're going to fix the leaky bathroom faucet?'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Yep, it's just what I suspected: You've sprung a leak in the main corporate coffee supply line!'

'So what did the Plumber think of your suggestions dear...?'

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

Hole drilled in floor. 'That's fixed that.'

'...But enough about me, what do you do for a living?'

"This doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, I must admit."