Plugged-in Sage Pillows

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Dog stretching before a walk.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

IMHOtep

Machine consciousness - a robot thinking. The thought is in the form of a printed circuit board. The robot is a clockwork toy robot, to emphasise the infancy of the concepts involved

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'... So I'm standing near this old guy and he's using an old, giant cell phone-- I mean this thing is ridiculous! Hahahaha!'

'Does it come with any Apps'

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'Your Dell went to hell.'

Hooked on technology

Bacteria Special Offer

'I buy my cigars at Ikea!'