Plug-in Pun Lover Pillows

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Gadget geek.

Rap music

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"You've passed with extinction!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

Larry's Literary Market.

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

Hairy Potter.

"You want mechanical engineering down the hall. This is maniacal engineering."

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

Pavement artist.