Plot-twister Lover Pillows

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Subway Thrillers

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"Better than Chekhov"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

Elevator choices: Up, Down, Different Narrative.

Crime

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

Galoots in cahoots

'I can't seem to find the 'surprise' ending.'

"I agree, Glenn. The first sentence needs to hook the reader."

"I've just had a meeting with your wife, lovely woman."

"It's the grisly story of the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a brilliant novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who..."

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite