Plot Perfectionist Gifts

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Brexit vs. the editor.

Frank and Ernie's Gardening Tips. Remember, proper plot maintenance is key to a good harvest. Weed 'em and reap!

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

"This gentleman would like a refund. He claims the plot broke down halfway through!"

"He was okay with the spell check but he gets mad when it starts to correct the arc of his narrative development!"

"The streaming channel found my script illogical, primitive and bursting with sex and violence... they paid me 10 million for the movie rights!"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Bullseye!

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"I think you might need to start again."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Perfection

Poetry repairman

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Writer

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Santa's Out Tray.

"You're welcome."

'You should have ordered one. This is the only one left in the shop!'