Plot Keeper Gifts

'Oh no! I'm losing the plot.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

Crossroads - fiction/non fiction.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

10 commandments

Irvine Welsh

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

'There's a bee here from the Food and Drug Administration who wants to inspect the hive.'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"We need a plot twist."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Ian McEwan

Always Remember Their Sacrifice. . .

Ben Okri

"Don't write it!"