Plot Analyst T-Shirts

Books. New Releases. If you read enough whodunits, you realize they recycle the same plots over and over. Mystery repeats itself!

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Andre Gide.

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

Business Outlook

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

'And this is the day we put too much coffee in the cappuccino machine.'

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'This is where we hired Felder. All those in favor of going back in time and not hiring Felder...'

Joyce Carol Oates

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

10 commandments

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

"We need a plot twist."

"And this is where, to use a technical term, 'things went to shit.'"

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

Wearing all black

"I'm super excited about this fabulous opportunity to improve!"

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.

"It was around here we felt the force of el nino."

"Better than Chekhov"

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'