Playgrounds Gifts

Salvador Dali - Memorial Park

'Your dad might be stronger, but my dad's smarter.'

"I'm not a scaredy-cat - I'm phobic."

'It's broken.'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

'Sure, it's all fun and games until someone loses an iPhone.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

'Budget cuts have forced NASA to find alternative training methods.'

'Look, Mom - first sign of swing!'

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

'Are you the opposite sex, or am I?'

The Bad Girls Always Hung Out Near The Mood Swings

Fat guy on a seesaw.

"Get lost! You can't play with us!"

Animals on a see-saw.

"Hi-yah!"

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Come on, I did it for you..."

'Too steep, eh Earl?'

When no one is looking the snakes come out to play.

'Frankly, I don't mind my husband spending time in bars: As long as they're Monkey-Bars of course...'

Skeleton at the End of Hop-Scotch.

A rocket to the Moon

'In the old days this was considered a play station,'

Children Sliding into an Alligator/Crocodile's Mouth

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

"Edward, if you don't mind, this is very serious."

'Fair is fair, Amanda. Now push me already.'

Don't do it, kid. Think. Think.

Quicksandbox

'As this slide indicates, sometimes identifying genes is, in fact, quite easy.'

Time and money on a seesaw are equals.

'Higher!'

I'd like to announce the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Guide for Raising an Alpha Child." I'd like to, but I can't. You see, in recent years we've replaced concrete and dirt playgrounds with bouncy rubber. And we've started arresting parents who let their kids explore the world by playing outside on their own. Somehow, it's become illegal to raise an alpha child.

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.