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"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Skeptic Tank.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

National Living Wage from April 1st.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

New Year 2020

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

World Health Organization

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

Voter Suppression

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

The Lawyer of Oz

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

'Sharks have to keep moving to survive, you say?', 'Yep - They're nature's politicians.'