Playful Pagan Gifts

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'He's maturing early.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'We'll get a head start on goofing off.'

Angel doing the hula hoop.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

'I'm so proud: My son can't sit still...'

Sliding Down the Banister

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

'T.S.I.F.'

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Jammy Dodgers

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Seven deadly sins store

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

"When did you get a pet?"

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

"I'll learn yoga later, but for now jumping on the bed satisfies all my exercise goals."

Jesus the comedian.

"But we ARE practising, Mum."

"It's cooties."