Playful Monarch Fan Pillows

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'How about a game of cards?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

A man washing a mascot costume

TV jester.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"That's our new church mascot."

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Reign Man

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Elizabeth II

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

"Pardon my glove."

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Beefeater

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

Cleopatra

Queen Anne

"Personally I enjoyed your biting satire!"