Playful Companion Pillows

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Mixed Doubles.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Holding hands

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Advanced footsie

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

Cats

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Puppy Love

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

You are simply the Greatest

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Henry, cut that out.'

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

Consenting Adults.

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"