Playdate Challenger Mugs

"Wanna play doctor?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Kids with Fish Balloons

'Can Anna come out and ride?'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

Teddy Bear

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Kids and Mobile Addictions

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'We're playing 'mummy'!'

Bouncy Castle: May Cause Happiness

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'

'My mum likes it when I hang out with you: She knows we're not going to stray too far...'

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"You'll like my parents. They're very child-centered."

"You can't classify the damage as a Act of God; I'm an atheist!"

"Enough's enough! I've been calling you two for dinner for the last half hour!"

"Didn't Mommy and Daddy tell you the other children would play with you if you wore your Halloween costumes?!"

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'