Playbook Philosopher Gifts

'I'm wearing an electronic ankle device. If I take even one step across the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped, they throw me in the slammer.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I'm bored."

"Recess does things to a man."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Philosopher trading cards.

Football team discussions.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'