Playbook Philosopher Pillows

'I'm wearing an electronic ankle device. If I take even one step across the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped, they throw me in the slammer.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I'm bored."

"Recess does things to a man."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Philosopher trading cards.

Football team discussions.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."