Playbook Analyst Gifts

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'I'm a difference maker... not that it makes any difference...'

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Trump's Speechwriters

Andrew Marr

Mirror tells wicked queen from Snow White: 'If you do not wish to know the truth, please look away now.'

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

NFL's 50 Most Masterful Uses of the Clock

'O.K. lads, computer research shows this is the new winning plan to win the match.'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"

'Everyone has a game plan, Sims. Yours, strangely, looks like the Pittsburgh Steelers' offensive.'

"You think we like these extra playoff rounds?"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'How come I get two yellow cards?' - 'One for the foul and one for the instant reply.'

"I feel unaccountably happy today. I think I'll celebrate by starting one of those petty workplace power struggles that give my life such meaning!"

'They're gonna punt. ... Release the special teams.'

Music charts development.

'Trick play! Trick play!'

"Most opera plots could be averted by some decent therapy."

'Throw the ball! I can't hold them much longer - the defence shields are weakening!'

'Harold has a difficult time accepting constructive criticism.'

'Oh God, trust security to have found the hidden agenda!'

"If you throw it to me I'll introduce you to my financial advisor."