Plastic Plant Parent Gifts

"I've replanted the hanging basket with flowers that'll survive the coming winter. . .They're plastic."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Allotment

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"You must have a green thumb."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Solar Plant

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Boy's plant with the shadow of a tree.

"Can you believe that people inhale the gases we expel-sick, right?"

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

What your house plant says about you...

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

Tree Identification Field Guide...

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

Bird nesting in the garden.