Houseplant Parent Gifts

The Houseplants vs The Kids

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Allotment

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Thanks

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Money Plant.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"You must have a green thumb."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

Solar Plant

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

Boy's plant with the shadow of a tree.

"Can you believe that people inhale the gases we expel-sick, right?"

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

What your house plant says about you...

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

Tree Identification Field Guide...

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'