Houseplant Parent Gifts

The Houseplants vs The Kids

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Allotment

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Thanks

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Money Plant.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"You must have a green thumb."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

Solar Plant

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

Boy's plant with the shadow of a tree.

"Can you believe that people inhale the gases we expel-sick, right?"

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."